NYC Street Poet: My Biggest Regret in Love

The interview begins with a question about taking a video, to which the poet, Apple Tree Poetry, agrees, inviting the interviewer to take a seat. The interviewer asks whether to speak or if the poet will simply write a poem, prompting the poet to suggest a conversation, asking if the interviewer prefers a deep or lighter topic. The interviewer opts for a deep conversation.

The poet reveals that his biggest struggle lately has been finding true love, expressing a desire to find a partner before a "limited age." He contemplates the standards for a "best partner" and true love, acknowledging his wish to get married but uncertainty about how to define these ideals, making it his primary personal challenge.

The interviewer expresses understanding of the poet's struggle to find true love. A lighthearted moment follows as the interviewer asks if they will become famous, to which the poet confidently replies, "Yeah, sure." The poet then reveals that his typewriter is the "first typewriter ever."

The interviewer expresses gratitude and inquires if a minute-long interview would be possible by contacting the poet through his account. The poet agrees, and the interviewer confirms they will send a message, explaining that the next day is their final day in New York City. The poet acknowledges this information.

The poet suggests conducting the interview immediately, stating that he won't be there tomorrow. He introduces himself as Apple Tree Poetry and reveals he started his work in the summer of 2014, making it 12 years of street poetry. When asked why modern society people are unhappy, he attributes it to them "doing things they don't want to do." The interviewer then raises the point that survival in modern society often requires earning a lot of money, posing a question about how to achieve freedom to pursue one's desires in this context.

The poet explains that he achieves freedom by living modestly, which provides him with time, if not always space. He emphasizes that living within one's means is key to being okay. He warns against trying to "mirror the cool people" and pursue status, as this can lead to economic entrapment, highlighting the expense of trying to replicate an image of success.

He uses his tailor-made outfit as an example, noting that it took him 11 years to reach the point where he could acquire it, even traveling to Asia for tailoring. He explains that he didn't rush into buying expensive clothes or the "nicest typewriter," but rather took a "very slow long journey." Throughout this process, he lived very modestly, acknowledging that despite his efforts, he still considers himself "lower class" but with more time than most people.

When asked about love advice for his younger self, the poet shifts to his biggest regret: not pursuing social work. He had intended to become a therapist, having benefited from talk therapy throughout his life. He had an opportunity to go to grad school for social work in 2022, but a COVID-19 vaccine led to neurological issues, causing involuntary muscle movements for two years. This health setback prevented him from attending grad school.

He expresses deep regret for not even completing a single semester of grad school, initially thinking he could postpone it until he healed. However, he never returned and struggled to regain acceptance. This situation forced him to rely more heavily on his street poetry, which, while still fun, became more serious and less of an elective pursuit. He feels that this missed opportunity is his biggest regret from the past five years.

At 35, after some travel, he realized a strong desire to find love and build a family, seeking a place to settle down. He understands that achieving this goal means he must begin sacrificing some of his freedom. He reflects that it would have been easier if he had just enrolled for one semester of grad school, as he would now be a therapist, offering more freedom and allowing him to separate his poetry from his primary income.

He reaffirms that his biggest regret is not saying "yes" to that opportunity. Addressing the interviewer's question about finding true love, he recounts an experience with an attractive person where he "tried too hard," mimicking advice from others who seemed to find love easily. This approach made the interaction awkward. He concludes that to find love, or even to start a connection, he needs to be comfortable with being "boring" and trust that things will progress naturally, without forcing it.

He recounts how imitating the advice of people who easily found love or talked to women effortlessly led him to say "the same thing," making the interaction "really awkward." He stresses the importance of being okay with being "boring" and not constantly trying to move things forward, trusting that the other person, if interested, will do the "heavy lifting" and make it easy.

He explains that the right person will make it easy to initiate connection. His one-sentence answer to finding true love is that "love is literally all around you." He advises being comfortable with the "most boring version of yourself," emphasizing that "you are enough." Many people are "super boring" and struggle to talk, yet love is still accessible to them. The key is to be open and willing to be loved for who you are, a lesson that took him a long time to learn.

He believes that accepting oneself is the first good step to finding love. When asked for general advice to his younger self, not just about love, he states he would "stop modeling my behavior based on what cool people did." He recognizes that he is an introvert, anxious, and an overthinker, qualities that differ from those who had "certain advantages" in their lives. He emphasizes that it would be "erroneous to like do what they did" and that his younger self was "enough" as he was.

He reflects that others had "certain advantages in their lives," making it misleading for him to emulate their actions. He would tell his younger self, "you are enough." He reminds himself of his past self, who played basketball and video games all day, asserting that there are people who share those interests and would find him sufficient as he was. He states that he "was trying too hard" back then, which is the message he would impart to his younger self. The interviewer then asks for advice on building a healthy relationship with a partner.

He advises smiling "at the internal mirror" and being at peace with one's inner state. If one can find "compassion with yourself within yourself," a healthy relationship will naturally follow because it will prevent engagement in toxic dynamics. He explains that loving oneself so much will lead to shunning negative energy, preventing relationships from deteriorating into unhealthy phases. If a relationship has already become toxic, he suggests returning to oneself, finding happiness and compassion within loneliness, and then removing the negative influence from one's life.

In response to why he "lives hard," the poet explains it's because he sees "so much potential in me." When asked if he loves himself, he affirms that he loves "most of the things" about himself, acknowledging a few aspects he doesn't, which he needs to overcome. He believes that once he addresses these, he will stop being so self-critical. The interviewer thanks him, and then asks about his name, "Appletree."

The poet clarifies that "Appletree" is his last name. The interviewer, Ethan, thanks him and is surprised when the poet offers him an apple. Ethan promises to bring the apple to Korea, as the poet wishes him more happiness. The interview concludes with mutual gratitude.