New Landscape of Divorce Preparation and Family Conflict

Wives and daughters-in-law are documenting unfair treatment by husbands and in-laws, accumulating specific details of harm such as infidelity, drunken behavior, violence, and verbal abuse.

There's a growing trend of using medical records as legal evidence in divorce lawsuits, waiting for an opportune moment for property division and other favorable outcomes.

Dr. Lee Kwang-min advises clients during divorce consultations, saying, "First, load your gun with bullets." He stressed that rather than immediately filing for divorce, it's crucial to meet with a lawyer to objectively understand the divorce process, potential disadvantages, and benefits.

Psychiatrists act as facilitators, not decision-makers, helping clients prepare thoroughly instead of responding emotionally.

Unlike the past, which forced Confucian patience, today's marital relationship is perceived as an equal one-to-one contract.

In such a relationship, it exists for the couple's common interest and happiness; if these are lacking, separation is seen as a natural progression.

Dr. Lee Kwang-min believes that a marriage endures when two people, raised in different environments, overcome daily inconveniences and gain positive elements.

When a partner only brings hardship to one's life, communication, respect, and consideration become essential conditions to sustain the relationship, beyond just happiness.

As divorce becomes more common in society, an atmosphere has spread where immediate separation is prioritized over efforts to improve relationships during conflicts.

Dr. Lee Kwang-min diagnoses that divorce itself is not the problem, but rather the lack of communication and effort that can be experienced in the process is a bigger issue.

Dr. Lee Kwang-min diagnoses that humans are fundamentally 'creatures of habit,' so if conflict resolution methods are not changed, there is a high probability of repeating similar suffering.

There are conflict patterns that persist even when partners are changed. He advises that instead of resolving conflicts simply through divorce, it is desirable to make continuous efforts to resolve them.

Often, the lack of awareness of the son/husband, who should act as a mediator, leads to conflicts being neglected.

As aging mothers-in-law need their daughters-in-law's help to communicate with their children's generation, a phenomenon has emerged where the initiative in the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship shifts to the daughter-in-law.

The obsession of meeting every week as a family is actually worsening relationships.

By giving up the demand to be close and establishing a sense of distance, natural communication became possible, and peace of mind was found.

Intimacy is not a prerequisite; cooperation is only needed when there's a specific division of roles, such as raising grandchildren.

If there are no special vested interests, the person who should be close to the mother-in-law is the son, not the daughter-in-law.

Unlike early childhood, when self-control is lacking, adolescence is a period for learning autonomy.

He suggested that if children have completed their tasks, such as homework, it is necessary to allow smartphone use and be somewhat flexible.

He advised establishing consistent standards that clearly sanction smartphone use only when tasks are not completed.

Dividing the roles of disciplining and comforting can provide a psychological buffer zone for children.

Rather than parents unconditionally adhering to the same stance, it can be more effective for a child's psychological stability and problem-solving if one parent disciplines while the other is receptive.

Adolescent children want to do well on their own but go through a period of wandering and frustration.

Teenagers have the power to recover on their own after hitting rock bottom. Parents should observe from a distance and act as a 'fence,' only offering help when the child faces problems that are difficult to solve alone.

Sometimes menopause wins over adolescence. The question "Why should a mother always yield to her child?" stems from the recognition that a parent's menopausal emotions can take precedence over a child's adolescence.

Parents responding more strongly can also be an alternative, and parents' emotions also deserve respect.

Most children want to do well but experience frustration because they don't know how. Contrary to parents' concerns, the children's problems encountered in counseling are often not serious. Identifying whether the child has ambitions and dreams for life is paramount. Experts advise that the process of trial and error is a necessary rite of passage for a child's growth. Dr. Lee Kwang-min believes that the process of identifying whether a child has ambition and dreams for life should come first.

Most children want to do well but experience frustration because they don't know how. The process of trial and error should also be understood as part of growth. He stated that the trials and errors children experience can be seen as a natural process for growth.

Adolescents inherently possess resilience that allows them to get back up after hitting rock bottom.

Parents observe from afar until the child reaches their limit, then intervene when crucial help is requested. The act of observing itself conveys parents' trust to the child, which is essential for fostering autonomy.