Personality Test Reveals Entrepreneur's Narcissism

He believes that such 'wounds' often serve as 'doors' for self-improvement, turning moments of discomfort into pathways for growth.

After selling his company, Shaan Puri hired a life coach who administered a non-standard personality test, revealing a score of 110 on the narcissism scale, which was considered 'off the charts'.

Puri's initial, ironically narcissistic, reaction was one of self-congratulation, thinking, 'That's right. I win.'

He spent the subsequent minutes processing the feedback, inadvertently confirming the coach's assessment of his trait.

The life coach clarified that narcissism, as revealed in the test, signifies a belief in one's own specialness and an exemption from standard rules, a trait Puri acknowledged resonated with his lifelong desire to be extraordinary.

This trait, the coach explained, is a double-edged sword, fostering risk-taking but becoming detrimental if not grounded in specific, validated achievements.

The core issue identified was a 'vague sense' of being special without concrete understanding, leading to a continuous reliance on external validation.

Basing one's sense of specialness on the opinions of others introduces emotional volatility, according to Shaan Puri.

Receiving praise offers a 'high,' but the absence of validation results in a 'lower than normal low.'

Puri recognized that many of his career and life choices, including his engagement with social media and public speaking, were heavily influenced by this underlying need for external validation.

Shaan Puri described experiencing profound insecurity and self-criticism even at events populated by highly successful founders, illustrating the internal struggle despite outward achievements.

The clash between the desire for external validation and the reality of professional success can create an internal 'hell' if one remains 'in your own head,' regardless of external circumstances.

He advised recognizing the 'trap' of self-criticism early and noted that being 'comfortable in your own skin' is among the greatest feelings one can experience.

Shaan Puri observed that many individuals mistakenly use external achievements like grades, money, or praise as substitutes for genuine self-worth.

He offered the metaphor of 'filling your own water cup' to represent cultivating internal validation, which reduces dependency on external approval.

Puri noted that while he has not fully mastered this concept, acknowledging his narcissism score was a crucial step toward achieving greater self-awareness and self-reliance.

Scott Harrison of Charity Water provided Shaan Puri with critical, unsolicited feedback on his podcasting style, specifically pointing out his excessive use of the filler word 'like'.

Puri initially felt embarrassed but quickly shifted to appreciation, recognizing the feedback as a rare and valuable gift of honest truth.

He emphasized the importance of having individuals in one's life who are willing to provide candid, non-self-serving truth, even when it is uncomfortable to hear.

At 21, Shaan Puri embarked on a sushi restaurant concept with no prior industry experience, embodying a 'beginner's confidence' that allowed him to overlook his lack of skills and knowledge.

Winning a business plan competition further bolstered his belief that he could compete with established chains, despite his limited understanding of the industry.

His team proactively sought guidance by cold-emailing the founders of successful food companies such as Chipotle, Quiznos, and Noodles and Company.

Shaan Puri devoted three months to meticulously crafting a 250-page business plan, focusing on minutiae such as employee uniforms and management systems, as a means to avoid the actual work of execution.

He described this extensive planning as a 'safe harbor,' feeling more comfortable in the theoretical realm than in the practical, real-world validation of his ideas.

Puri highlighted a common pitfall for founders: falling into the trap of building elaborate concepts that ultimately nobody desires or needs.

Shaan Puri presented his comprehensive 250-page business plan to an experienced advisor, who reacted not with aggression but with a sense of pity.

The advisor sharply criticized the lack of tangible action, unequivocally stating, 'This is not how you start a restaurant,' and dismissing the extensive plan as 'nothing.'

He advised Puri to shift focus immediately to securing a location, negotiating leases, and beginning to serve customers within a strict 90-day timeframe, emphasizing practical steps over theoretical planning.

After the humbling meeting, Shaan Puri and his team experienced a moment of silent shock in their car, grappling with the advisor's blunt assessment.

Puri described feeling as though their dignity had been shattered, even though the situation did not have immediate, tangible consequences on their lives beyond the meeting itself.

He likened his feelings of hopelessness to a character from 'Seinfeld,' realizing his chosen path was severely misaligned with his actual goals and aspirations.

Feeling stuck in a business plan that had seen no real progress for five months, Shaan Puri decided to adopt a radical new approach.

Inspired by a 'Seinfeld' episode where George Costanza decides to do the 'opposite' of his usual behavior, Puri committed to changing his stagnant patterns.

He shifted his mindset from obsessive over-planning and seeking external validation to embracing a 'bias for action,' committing to a 'Church of Action' philosophy where doing took precedence over approval.

The swift implementation of actions, rather than prolonged planning, garnered positive feedback from a mentor for Shaan Puri's team.

The mentor publicly lauded their 'highest bias for action' compared to other founders he had encountered.

Puri concluded that the initial embarrassment served as a powerful catalyst, driving fundamental changes in his long-term habits and approach to entrepreneurship.

Shaan Puri described his younger self as exceedingly shy, feeling like an 'NPC' (non-player character) in his school environment.

In an attempt to express his interest in a girl, he penned an anonymous 'note' or poem and orchestrated an encounter at her locker, aiming for her to discover the abstract love letter.

The recipient, who was his friend, found the grand gesture more amusing than impressive, much to Puri's embarrassment at the time.

When the girl asked who the anonymous note was for, Shaan Puri, unable to admit his feelings, concocted a fictitious story about a girlfriend he met at a competition, attending another school.

This initial lie forced him to maintain the elaborate deception for six months, a charade that only ended when he moved to China before the truth could be exposed.

Shaan Puri's sister recognized his established reputation as a 'laugh track' at his old school, offering him a new perspective on his impending move.

She advised him that his new school presented an opportunity to completely reinvent himself, as his new peers would have no preconceived notions of him.

She encouraged him to model his behavior after a popular, athletic classmate named Casey Pruzman, providing a concrete example for his desired transformation.

Shaan Puri found that he could effectively emulate his role model by consciously deciding how that person would act in specific situations and then executing those actions.

The initial feeling of acting eventually faded as his new behaviors became ingrained, leading to a genuine transformation in his personality.

He has since applied this principle to reinvent himself multiple times throughout his life, including his transition from a tech entrepreneur to a successful podcaster.

Shaan Puri decided he wanted to emulate figures like Tim Ferriss, aiming to entertain and provide sufficient insight to make listeners want to return.

He consequently ceased attending meetings and shifted his focus entirely to content creation, aligning his actions with his newly decided identity.

Puri emphasized that moments of embarrassment or loss of dignity can serve as crucial 'doors' to personal growth and significant career reinvention.